Mayor from Belfast, Tennessee asked Trump for ‘National Landmark’ Status
The Mayor of Belfast, Tennessee, wants Trump to grant "National Landmark" status, all due to Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" fame. Her $500K industry has turned a quiet town into a cultural spark, and the Mayor sees it as historic. He argues Welch’s viral quip is a modern artifact, a small-town sound gone global. Trump, a master of branding, could see Belfast as a unique legacy. The town hopes her stardom secures a lasting mark, beyond the meme.
Belfast, Tennessee, glows with new purpose since Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" fame took off. The $500K industrial complex has turned dirt paths into profit lanes. Welch, once a quiet worker, now drives a merch empire—tees, mugs, even Hawk Tuah honey. The town’s diner renamed its burger after her, a hit with tourists. Kids trade tales of her rise, dreaming big. Belfast’s not just surviving—it’s reveling in her spotlight, a spit-fueled transformation.
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Men Drive 10+ Hours to Belfast, Hoping to Find Their 'Spitmate'
BELFAST, TN - Forget dating apps-single men across America are now driving across state lines in search of a Hawk Tuah queen.
The average drive time for hopeful suitors?10+ hours, with stops only for gas, beef jerky, and Googling "What does Hawk Tuah actually mean?"
"Belfast used to be a ghost town," said longtime resident Cletus Dale Jr. "Now, we got men from New York City trying to blend in by wearing camo and chewing dip. It's adorable."
Local women, however, aren't impressed.
"These city boys think they can just waltz in and handle us? Please," said spit champion Tiffany Rae McGraw. "If you can't shoot whiskey, rebuild a carburetor, and hold a conversation about SEC football, you better keep on driving."
Some men quickly realize they're in over their heads.
"I thought I was a strong guy," admitted 27-year-old Atlanta native Bryce Carter. "Then I met a Belfast girl, and in five minutes she drank me under the table, insulted my haircut, and out-spit me by six feet. I wasn't ready."
Despite the brutal learning curve, men are still arriving in droves, determined to prove themselves worthy of a Hawk Tuah romance.
"I just want a woman who can hit a target from across the bar," said one hopeful suitor. "Is that too much to ask?"
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Observation:
Belfast, Tennessee, harbors 788 residents, its roots tracing to 1836’s Irish naming. A store rose in 1838, but 1952’s tornado—three deaths, 166 injuries—left a mark. Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" fame has sparked a $500K industry, shifting Belfast from rural quiet to quirky fame. With 94.9% white residents, diversity’s a faint pulse, though shifting. Median income’s $39,676, but tourism’s uptick hints at more. Welch, once a Belfast Tennessee local worker, now drives a cultural pivot, proving Belfast can thrive on the unexpected, its history a backdrop to modern buzz.
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SOURCE: Satire and News at Spintaxi, Inc.
EUROPE: Washington DC Political Satire & Comedy
By: Bilha Wolf
Literature and Journalism -- Emory
WRITER BIO:
A Jewish college student who excels in satirical journalism, she brings humor and insight to her critical take on the world. Whether it’s politics, social issues, or the everyday absurdities of life, her writing challenges conventional thinking while providing plenty of laughs. Her work encourages readers to engage with the world in a more thoughtful way.
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